Prime News Ghana

14 things couples do that all single people hate

By Jeffrey Owusu-Mensah
Shares
facebook sharing button Share
twitter sharing button Tweet
email sharing button Email
sharethis sharing button Share

First thing first, we, the single people, are all very happy that you, our dear friends, have found True Love in these haggard times. But also, there are things you do that make us cringe and want to run away from you very fast. Like, we love you, but we hate when you do these things.

 1. Make you take a million couple pics of them every single time they go out because omg they're SO cute right? Please just hire a personal photographer or invest in a selfie stick because I'm about to start charging a rate.

2. Kiss each other on the FACE while other people are around, like animals. How loudly do I have to scream "GET A ROOM" until they actually do it?

3. Try and set you up with someone because now they're so sure the key to happiness is being in a relationship. You can't fool me. We were friends last month when you were on a going out kick and were making out with strangers in public every weekend. You're the same person.

4. Ghost on literally all outings going forward because they're very content to just stay in, thankyouverymuch. Where's Carly and Todd, you ask? Oh we haven't seen them in about six months because they're too busy staring into each other's eyes or whatever it is couples do with each other.

5. Insist that it's not weird for you to third-wheel. Sure, I totally don't find it uncomfortable to sit here and watch you hold hands and grope thighs under the table while I try to choke down my drink.

6. Assume that every single invite suddenly comes with a plus one because they've been together for two weeks and are inseparable. I don't remember inviting David to this party but hey cool what's up man. Nice to see you for the millionth time this week.

7. Use the word "we" in literally every conversation and just assume you know who they're talking about. I'm just going to start thinking that when you say "we," you mean you and your cat. That's what I mean when I say "we."

8. Talk about their sex lives as if you're deeply interested to know how Jeremy's game has improved. If I have to hear about the orgasm Jeremy gave you last Thursday one more time I am literally cutting you off from sex talk. I am not kidding here.

9. Start giving out unsolicited relationship advice like they're suddenly a verified relationship expert. Cool. You've been dating this guy for three weeks and now you're Dr. Phil. I'm really enjoying all this advice that I didn't ask for and do not need.

10.  Talk about how great it would be if you found someone so you guys could double date. You can keep trying to set me up with Alex's weird friends but if it didn't work a month ago, it won't work now. 

11. Insist that they sit next to each other at every gathering even if it means everyone has to get up and move seats so they can do so. Can you guys stand to be three feet apart for like an hour while we're at this restaurant? No? Ok sure, that's totally normal.

12. Call each other by their ridiculous pet names like "puppy stuffins" and "sugar butt" in public. You guys definitely had human names before this relationship started but I'm having a hard time remembering what they even are.

13. Post a million kissy face selfies on Instagram and start breaking out all the nauseating hashtags like #love #bae #loved #barf. I can't tell what I hate more: all the kissgrams, or the fact that you keep getting a million likes on all these dumpster pics.

14. When they do go out alone, making a whole thing about how no one better hit on them, because they're taken. WE. GET. IT. You're very happy and very much in love. Suck it up and go out with me anyway, because I'm not and I'm still trying to meet someone so I can be just as annoying and happy as you two are.