The reality is that we’ve been fed this idea that love has to look like a cinematic masterpiece filled with expensive roses and five-course dinners.
This "perfection pressure" actually ends up sucking the joy out of the day, leaving couples stressed about logistics rather than actually connecting. It’s a classic case of the holiday’s image getting in the way of its actual purpose.
Instead of chasing a filtered fantasy, the real win is figuring out how to make the day feel like yours. Whether you’re navigating a new spark or you’ve been together for decades, the goal should be about genuine moments, not matching a commercial standard. It’s time to stop letting a calendar date dictate your self-worth or the health of your relationship.
Ditch the Comparison Game
Seriously, put the phone down for a bit. Social media is basically a curated highlight reel of everyone’s "perfect" life, but you don't see the burnt dinner or the argument about parking that happened five minutes before the photo. Comparing your "real life" to someone else’s polished Valentine’s post is a one-way ticket to feeling miserable. Your relationship is a living, breathing thing with its own unique rhythm, and that is way more valuable than a staged photo with a giant teddy bear.
Redefine What "Romantic" Means to You
Who says romance has to be a candlelit dinner at a place where you can’t pronounce half the menu? If your idea of a great time is ordering pizza and watching a documentary in your pajamas, then do that! The pressure to perform often makes us do things we don't even like. Take a second to ask what actually makes you and your partner feel seen and loved. Sometimes a quiet walk or just having a deep conversation without phones is worth more than any fancy jewelry.
Keep Your Expectations in Check
We often build up this day in our heads until it’s impossible for reality to keep up. If you expect your partner to suddenly transform into a mind-reading poet just because it's February 14th, you're probably setting yourself up for a letdown. People don't change overnight. Instead of waiting for a grand gesture that might not happen, focus on the small, consistent ways your partner shows up for you every other day of the year. Lowering the bar for "the day" lets you appreciate what’s actually there.
Communication is Your Secret Weapon
At the end of the day, February 14th is just twenty-four hours on a calendar. Your relationship shouldn't be defined by how well you did on a Tuesday in mid-February. If the day doesn't go perfectly—if the reservations get lost or the flowers arrive wilted—it isn't a reflection of your love. Real relationships are built in the messy, un-curated moments that happen on the other 364 days of the year. Let the pressure go and just enjoy being with your person.
So, can we just agree to stop stressing over the "perfect" Valentine's? It’s much more fun when you just let it be whatever it’s going to be. Whether you’re celebrating big or just treating it like a normal night, the only person you need to impress is yourself. What’s your plan—fancy heels or fuzzy socks? Either way, you’re doing just fine.
-Soy Carmín-