Once you have been lied to, it can be very hard to trust anyone again, let alone the person who actually did the lying. The initial feelings of anger and betrayal can soon give way to a deep suspicion of everyone you meet.
But not everyone is the same and some people can even change, so here are ten ways that you can learn to trust again after you have been lied to:
1. Don’t blame yourself
First tip on how to trust again after being lied to is to avoid thinking that it’s your fault with thoughts of ‘I should have seen it coming’ or ‘where did I go wrong’. If someone tells a lie, then they make a conscious decision to do so. No one else forced them to do it and certainly not you.
2. Try and trust yourself again
When you’ve been hurt, it is easy to start to think that you can trust no one, not even yourself. Remember that your instincts and gut feelings have always been right in the past and begin to rebuild that trust in your own judgement.
3. Make yourself the priority
Put your own happiness at the forefront of your mind. Just because someone has let you down that doesn’t mean that you deserve to be unhappy. If you let this thing get on top of you, then the person who has betrayed you is winning, so move on quickly and start to work on rebuilding your life.
4. Don’t think that you’ve lost everything
Human beings are really good at exaggerating things in their own minds. A betrayal of trust really does hurt, but it is unlikely, in the longer run, to ruin your entire life. Remind yourself of the things that you have and try to forget the little things you may have lost.
5. Don’t tar everyone with the same brush
Another tip on how to trust again after being lied to is to avoid tarring everyone with the same brush. You know that it’s not true that all men are liars, but many people begin to believe this when they are hurt by a man. Well-meaning friends might even try and console you with this misplaced piece of wisdom, but just because one person has lied to you doesn’t mean that all people are not trustworthy.
6. Don’t jump straight back into a new relationship
Give yourself some time to heal and don’t be tempted straight back into another relationship. The pain of being lied to is very similar to the pain of grieving and you will need to give yourself the time to heal.
7. Look to the people that you do trust
Don’t let this one person who has hurt you define all your future relationships. Remind yourself of all the people that you have around you who you can trust and talk to, with whom you can share your experience. Talking can be a great healer too.
8. Try and understand the reason why it happened
Next suggestion on how to trust again after being lied to is to try to understand the reason why it happened. There are not many people who are uncaring, heartless liars and most people who do cheat and lie later regret their actions. It’s a hard thing to do, but trying to understand why they lied might help you to understand that they didn’t do it, simply to hurt you.
9. Make the first few steps toward trusting again
In time, you will begin to trust people again, but you may need to make an effort to do so. Start out slowly and take your time, but do try and open your heart to others again, or the bitterness and mistrust will only get worse.
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10. Forgive, when you can
Ultimately, the best way to move forward is to let go of the past. Holding on to hatred of the person who has hurt you will only fuel your mistrust of others, so forgive if you can, or forget them completely. You are more important than they are, so don’t let them change the person that you are.
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