Prime News Ghana

Ways wives hurt their husband’s feelings without knowing

By Justice Kofi Bimpeh

It doesn’t matter if you’re the most sensitive person or someone who tends to take things with a grain of salt, feelings get hurt. While it probably isn’t intentional, the fact is sometimes feelings get hurt and it’s our responsibility as individuals to recognize the way our actions affect others.

Miscommunications or casual occurrences often take place within marriage. Relationships can be very complicated. As a spouse, you act as confidant, partner, shoulder, cheerleader, rationale and friend. Wives take on many other roles that encompass motherhood and being the social lite of the family. When things get stressful, it’s relatively easy to allow these things to get out of hand and accidentally take out your emotions on your husband.

It’s important to know what can or will hurt your husband’s feelings. Even though he may not openly say that you upset him, you must stay in tuned to the emotions and other way he expresses himself. Knowing what hurts his feelings will alleviate any arguments or issues in the future because he will see that you are genuinely trying to do right. You may be asking yourself, “How am I supposed to know what I should or should do?” No need to worry, we have some great pointers to help you map out what you can improve on and common target areas that cause frustrations. Take a long and hard look at these items of discussion because you may discover a great deal of things that you weren’t aware of before.

Second Guess Him

It’s a hard pill to swallow when a wife consistently checks double checks behind her husband to see whether or not a project has been completed up to par. While it may be the wife’s concern that things need to be completed correctly, the mindset of her husband is that she doesn’t quite trust him or believe that he’s capable. Not only does this effect a husband’s ego, but it can affect other areas that he may not be completely confident in yet.

Wives must trust their husband and always give him the benefit of the doubt before checking in on his effectiveness. From time-to-time things may not work out because no one is perfect – and that is completely okay. Wait until things don’t work out before you bring negativity to the table. Wives will discover that their husband is much more receptive in general once they’ve stopped second guessing him because it reinforces their independence.

Material Items

There are a number of scriptures that talk firsthand about materialistic items. One of the best scriptures that discuss material items is Matthew 6:19-21. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Men are typically viewed as the “man of the house” and oftentimes they take pride in putting food on the table and providing for the family as a whole. It’s important that wives do not over indulge and request things that are beyond the family’s means. It’s okay to want nice things, but it’s not okay to constantly ask for items that are not within a realistic budget or of true need. Try to stay humble and look to the words in scripture to provide guidance and inspiration.

Comparison

Everyone lives a different life because they have different means and situations. For example, a wife may see a family on the same block driving a nicer car, dressed in high labeled apparel, and go on more vacations. Seeing these luxurious differences, may strike a nerve and cause a wife to complain to her husband. This whole series of events may then cause the husband to feel like he’s not providing for his family or making his wife happy. Corinthians 10:12 talks about putting yourself into the same class with others and comparing others to that standard. It’s important to not go to your husband with every comparison that you view because it can make him feel less than stellar. When you feel the need to compare yourself or your family, think about the blessings that you have and turn to scripture for guidance – you’ll discover a whole new realm of inspiration that can be a huge influence within your everyday life.


Gratitude

Wives oftentimes take their husband’s for granted. You’d be surprised how far and how effective the two words ‘thank you’ can empower your husband. As women, we think our husband’s don’t do enough and when they do take action sometimes we forget to recognize their efforts. Not recognizing your husband’s efforts can hurt his feelings and cause him to feel inferior. It’s important to say thank you and think of other ways you can show you’re grateful to your husband. A lot of times men link gratitude with respect and not hearing that they’re appreciated causes them to feel less loved. Even though he may exude a tough exterior, a wife should recognize that her husband needs to feel truly appreciated and loved on a daily basis. Not only will the marriage benefit from a little bit of gratitude, but a couple will also find their communication lines will also be stronger.

Passiveness

Sometimes wives exude a great deal of passiveness towards their husbands. In many cases it’s not at all intentional, but they often assume that their husband doesn’t need a great deal of attention and that ultimately he’ll understand why. Women that also assume the role as mother must understand that they are in a relationship too and their husband needs them – just as much as they need their husband. Make time for your husband and do not treat him like another child. Give him your undivided attention and devote one-on-one time exclusively for him. Dedicating this time to him will make him feel important and will also allow him to feel like a priority versus just someone you cohabitate with. You may be thinking that you’re exhausted and do not have the energy to focus on your husband. You should remember before you had children and everything else you fell in love with a great man. Make sure you relive that love every day.

Be Careful With Your Words

There are many other additional ways that wives hurt their husband’s feelings on accident. It can be a difficult trying to make sure you don’t upset your husband, but if you become mindful of the instances that are hurtful you’ll discover that it’s much easier to avoid than you originally planned. Be present within your marriage and seek out ways you can become a stronger union by communicating with each other. Ask your husband to tell you when things bother him and explain to him that you are actively trying to avoid hurting his feelings. Not only will he appreciate your efforts, but he’ll also help you to guide you through your own frustrations and issues that you may be facing.

Source : beliefnet