Like the semi-spiritual person who seeks God only at certain times, I went to church last Sunday, which happened to be the first Sunday of the year.
Interestingly, the feeling to go to church came during my morning treadmill run (honestly, walking most of the time). My Christian friends will say it shouldn’t be only at my feel but I will be the first to admit that my church partaking activities have been somewhat of a downward spiral lately. I will explain later.
However, during my time at church, I picked up something interesting the pastor said and decided to do an activity on it. He mentioned that in his discussions with people on the issues they face, there are always four areas that are central to everybody’s issues and those are the areas through which the devil attacks man.
These areas are Mental, Physical, Financial and Family; he also went on to add another area which is spirituality. During the sermon, I noted these areas down and decided to come back home and write down my wins, issues and set goals for these areas of my life.
I am going to share what my thoughts are in these areas, my struggles and give you a glimpse of some of my goals. It was an interesting exercise and I entreat you all to do it and see how it goes. It could end up being a great form of goal setting for those who like setting yearly goals and also for anyone who is looking to make an improvement but does not know where to start.
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SPIRITUAL
So I am starting with this because personally, this is what I am struggling with the most right now. First and foremost, I believe in the existence of God and recognise the role and teachings of religion in my life (Christianity in this instance); however, my view on God is not in the way most people typically view him.
Unfortunately this I realise gets me to be rather judged as an unbeliever because I wonder and require answers on some of the teachings and dictates of the bible and other religious books. First off, I find it very difficult to believe we are the only beings in the Universe; amazingly this is actually stemmed from my belief in the greatness of God. If there are clear sightings that there are a hundred billion planets in the milky-way galaxy where our earth is located, which technically means I can own a planet and stay in there alone, is it far-fetched to believe there could be other beings in the Universe? I mean most definitely the angels must be located somewhere right (I can already feel prayers being said on my behalf by my mum for this statement).
Also, if the bible was written by the same apostles in this era given the advancement in technology, will it have the same meaning and depictions as it does? I can certainly imagine going back in time to say 200AD and showing people a phone, drone or better yet saying one can have a test tube baby. I am pretty sure I will be either stoned as a witch or maybe worshipped as a god. Spiritual books are written based on how best a manifestation can be described.
If I am born in an era where I know of only animals and cannot fathom a drone or rocket, If I see one and write about it, I am pretty sure I will describe it as an animal that flies to the heavens with eyes of light and fire spewing out of its backside and technically I won’t be wrong.
So my personal opinion is we are all travellers spiritually and we are trying to make sense of this life as best as we know how and whether you are a Christian, Buddhist, Muslim or whatever, you are ultimately wondering about what comes next after death and you put your faith in your religion hoping you are right and hope there is something more or better after this earth.
This is what also makes me appreciate the importance religion plays in our lives because I shudder to think how the world will be like if people felt there were no consequences for their actions after death or we firmly believe we just die and we are reborn again to take a shot at life again. So my take on spirituality, I am definitely a work in progress and I do not have a lot of wins here but my definite goal is self-awareness and spiritual enlightenment.
MENTALITY
I believe this is a gateway to bettering other areas of one’s life and probably the most difficult. If we are able to mentally be at our best, I believe most aspects of our lives will have much more meaning. Personally, one of my wins mentally is my big and beautiful imagination, ability to think through things and psych myself and my personal favourite, sleep like a baby irrespective of the pressures and issues in my life.
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I call that my favourite because it is a mental pause or break for me that does not push me to the edge. My issues in this area include procrastination and inability to get things into action and as silly as this may sound, sometimes being too polite. Sometimes I feel guilty going for things I want, and I end up overthinking it. My goal here is to be unapologetic and self-motivating to do it by setting my mind to it.
One of the central themes you find in the stories of people who overcame setbacks or disabilities and rags to riches stories is as simple as focusing and doing it and just continuing to do without giving up even with all the setbacks.
Another goal of mine mentally is to practice mindfulness. I was drawn to this topic just a few days ago when a friend of mine sent me an Instagram post with the caption “During sex, what EXACTLY should your mind be focused on? What part of sex do you focus on?†I found this interesting and funny at the same time when reading the comments from people.
I know what some people are thinking but it is really not as simple as just saying concentrate on the sex or even saying well if you are enjoying it then it is a no-brainer. For women, our ability to multitask is both a blessing and a curse when it comes to issues of mindfulness and it was quite exhilarating reading the comments and realising many women from different backgrounds have very similar experiences and questions. If you can multitask like most women do, it is quite common to have a “wandering mind†during sex and it can have such a profound effect on your body.
Whether your mind drifts to that sentence in the book you recently read and the thing you have to get done tomorrow, thinking of “The Walking Dead†and what will happen next to Carl or simply thinking if you are doing the right moves or asking yourself if you are wet enough. This is similar to so many aspects of our lives where we are juggling a million to do list, studying for that exam or trying to be attentive in a meeting.
Mindfulness helps to centre your mind on that one important thing at a time. So make it a goal to learn and read more about it and keep practising it, one day at a time.
Come to think of it, do you think they will throw Carl a lifeline in The Walking Dead and not let him die by say, doing a transfusion to save him? I think they should have rather killed Father Gabriel. Oh, I just remembered everyone is infected so a transfusion can’t help Carl, too bad. See, I’m wandering again. Ok back to the topic.
PHYSICAL
One of my personal big wins is loosing about six pounds in the space of two months. It may seem small for some people but for me it is great. I’ve been trying to get a few pounds off after my baby and it has proven more difficult than I thought. My goal is to get to 165lbs to maintain a healthy BMI and also to have time in all my day to day chaos to start doing body scrubs and face masks.
Hey, don’t look at me like that, I am “doing meâ€. When you are able to include taking care of yourself in your routine, you feel good and it has a profound effect on your energy. Also, my goal is to incorporate more healthy habits into my routine. The good old apple cider, honey and garlic on an empty stomach, decrease my meat consumption and have periodic physical exams.
It is easy to get lost in all the healthy living advice and also get lost in daily routines to the extent that you push some these things back but remember when you are physically not well, you lose time, companionship and activity. So get physically right.
FINANCIAL
I am not going to dwell so much on the financial aspect of life because I believe most of this can be resolved by first working mentally on your money making and spending mindset. After that, just go for that position, do that business and get moving. If you know how to generate more money, don’t just think about it, just do it.
If you need to realign your spending habits, well, no need for me to say it but oh well, here goes… JUST DO IT! No doubt sometimes outside factors cost us financially but it is but merely a hurdle we have to overcome and move on. Most times we know what we have to do to be financially sound but we keep procrastinating on it or we do not have the mental will to go through it. So, get your mind right.
FAMILY
Being from Ghana, the family extends to your family friends and even your parents family friends. My big win here is fostering togetherness in my family and making them understand my process. This is especially important to me because your family or people around you usually carry the mindset that they know what is right for you without understanding your process.
It is important to get them aligned so that they can help you move forward. If you are faced with family conflicts, you know it can be difficult to deal with especially when you have to do so keeping an undertone of elderly respect, keeping relations and getting a support system.
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When you’re just an argument away from a divorce, a breakup or even alienation from the family it can take a toll on you and other aspects of your life. One of my goals is to be able to keep a balance of my family needs with my personal needs, being candid, forgiving and encouraging openness.
So go ahead and look at these areas of your life, celebrate your wins no matter how small, note down your issues and set your goals.
Cheers to a freaking good life!
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Writer
Maame Yaa Incoom
instagram: mincoom