It’s a fact that losing their virginity is causing fear and anxiety to all the girls that are contemplating going forward with it. It’s somehow set in our minds that this will inevitably be something unpleasant and painful, no matter how and with whom we do it. It’s like everyone expects unease, pain, extensive bleeding and even tears, and is very fearful of that moment. This doesn’t make it any easier to do.
So many girls are psyching themselves out and listening to horror stories from their more experienced girl-friends which only make them more stressed out. At the same time, not many of those girls actually know what is really going down when having sex for the first time. So, the first step most definitely needs to be:
1. Get Informed about Your Anatomy
It’s important to know exactly what’s going on to be more comfortable. If you know about the things that are going down you’ll be less anxious and worried.
So, first off – the hymen. No, it’s not this bulletproof, very tough to tear, a barrier that’s going to put up a massive fight and cause you immeasurable pain. In fact, any pain you might feel during your first intercourse is more likely linked with other things and not breaking your hymen. But, we’ll get to that later.
So what is the hymen then? It’s just a membrane that covers a part of your vaginal entrance. It even has a hole in it that allows blood to flow out during your period. And, it’s possible it’s already been broken due to playing sports, bike riding, masturbating, tampon inserting etc. If it remained whole, however, breaking it when losing your virginity usually causes mild pain and little to no bleeding. (P.S. bleeding a lot is okay as well, it varies from girl to girl and is no reason to get scared)
The thing that can cause you the most pain isn’t even triggered by the act itself – its fear and tension. So, the next step would be:
2. Don’t Go Through with It if You’re Not Ready and Not Comfortable with Your Partner
Only if you’re ready and feel respected and safe with your partner will you be able to relieve yourself some of the tension and anxiety about losing your virginity! The thing is, while breaking the hymen doesn’t usually cause that much pain tense vaginal muscles do.
If you’re stressed out, scared and uncomfortable, not to mention if you’re not sure you want to go through with it you’ll be tense. And that tension will translate directly to your muscles – even the ones inside your genitals. If these muscles spasm in tension it will make your first love-making much more uncomfortable than it needs to be.
So, the way to losing your virginity with as little pain as possible is actually being ready to do it, feeling comfortable and ready!
3. Foreplay then a Bit More and then Sex
Foreplay is important because it will make you loosen up and get more into it. The more of it the better ’cause your vagina will produce more fluids and it will all be more oiled up, so to speak. When it comes to sex in general – the wetter you are the better.
When it comes to losing your virginity – being wet is essential! This is why it’s also recommended to use some water-based lubricant if you’re unable to get there naturally. It will definitely make the process a lot easier!
4. Go Easy
The most important thing is to have a partner who is understanding and takes it easy to relieve you as much pain as possible! That will make everything so much more comfortable and pleasant.
For starters, forget about thrusting! At the beginning, you have to be the one that determines the amount of pressure you can take and what speed works for you.
So, the solution is to have great communication with your partner and be really vocal and in touch with what it is you’re feeling. Also, even though it might seem more natural to go through with everything in the missionary position for the first time it might not be the best choice.
Think about trying a position where you’re in charge, like a girl on top. It’s okay you don’t really know what you’re doing and you’re inexperienced – it’s not about that. You’ll get there, but first, you’ll have to lose your virginity, and that’s the way to do it easy and basically pain-free.